Week 14: Honduras style!

This week has already been crazy awesome. As you know (or can tell by the title) I'm in Honduras for 8 days. This update might look a little different than any other. I love this place and love the work we have been a part of. Even if it is a little different for me since I'm pregnant. Thankfully God has given me great strength and sustenance. I've had to modify things a little, but have been able to do much.

A great little story: Sunday in class I was teaching my teens four different names of God. The final one we discussed was Jehovah Jirah which means "the God who provides." It was incredible how much that rang true to me just 24 hours away from traveling to a place where i was concerned I would struggle physically (I had trouble sleeping all last week because I was worrying about how I was going to make it on this trip). Jehovah Jirah has provided me exactly what I need- and continues to humble me in my unbelief!

How far along are you? 14 weeks!

Baby’s size? A large lemon or an apple depending on what website you visit.

Total weight gain/loss: I'm not totally sure but it's still probably close to 10 pounds lost. I'm praying for some weight gain at my next appointment in a few weeks though! Hopefully this Honduran food will help get me there!

Maternity clothes? This week I'm living in scrub pants! Thank goodness for comfy pants!

Stretch marks? None.

Sleep: It's been a little rocky this week. The stress of this trip to Honduras has woken and kept me up a few times this week. Plus waking up at 2:30am for a flight Monday didn't help. Thankfully, I have slept nicely since being in Honduras!

Best moment this week: Laying my head down Monday night. Y'all, it was the best thing ever to know that we all made it safely to Honduras and are ready to love on people. Absolute bliss.

Miss Anything? At this moment it's Mr. Most of the team is in Tegucigalpa at the Honduras/Jamaica soccer match. We decided it was probably for the best that I stay here with two other women on our team. Love that guy!

Movement: Nope. But I read that if you press down on your abdomen, your baby has reflexes and will react to your pressing. Is it bad that I do that and think "I'm annoying my baby!"

Food cravings: Ice! It's hard to come by here in Honduras. Bobby has been keeping me stocked though!

Anything making you queasy or sick: Nothing specific. I'm working hard to not think too much about what I eat this week. Just shoving it down. We were at a dump in Tegucigalpa Monday afternoon and I was concerned the smell would really get to me. Thankfully, it wasn't too bad!

Gender: We will find out at the end of July (God willing!)

Labor Signs: Not a one (and I'm so grateful for that right now)

Symptoms: I've been tired and a little queasy so far this week. God has truly been providing since I've been on the trip because I definitely did not feel this way last week. Praise God for His victories!

Belly Button in or out? In.

Wedding rings on or off? On.  But the Honduran air has certainly made my hands swell!

Happy or Moody most of the of the time? Pretty happy so far this week! I will say that I have been super weepy though since getting to Honduras. I held a 6 day old baby Tuesday and oh my word! Tear city! She was just the sweetest thing! Her name was Luly. And I'm teary just thinking about it!

Looking forward to? More of Gods awesome work here in Honduras!

Please be praying for: The rest of our trip in Honduras. We have already all had amazing experiences of God's compassion. I can't tell you how blessed I am to be a part of this trip. And our team is so great- praise Him!!

Thankful Thursday

I have been feeling terrible all week (last Friday seems so long ago...). But just because I'm feeling bad, doesn't mean that I'm not thankful for an awful lot!  Continue to keep me and our team that's going to Honduras next week!

In no particular order, things I'm thankful for this week:

-This baby growing inside me.  It's sucking the life out of me, but I can't believe that God is blessing me and Mr. with this child.  I'm in awe.  And I can't wait to be a mom.  Gosh, I get teary just thinking about it.

-Mr. Ya'll, he's been awesome and SO understanding.  He's taken super good care of me and makes sure that I eat, drink, take my medicine... even if I fight back tooth and nail, he makes sure that I'm taking care of my body and the baby.

-Sprite. And ice.  Otherwise, I'd be in the hospital dehydrated.

-Our blooming garden! It's growing like crazy!

-My team to Honduras. I can't tell you how much I am looking forward to spending a week with these 13 folks. I'm so excited for the plans God has in store! Praise God for an awesome community of believers. I just love my church family and I'm ready to build and strengthen some relationships on this trip as well as work for a community of believers in Campamento.

Praise God for His many blessings!

13 Weeks!

So, I'm 13 weeks (as of Monday) and depending on what you read, I'm either already in the 2nd trimester, or I'll be in the 2nd trimester next week.  In Lauren World, I'm in the 2nd trimester already.  Cause I HATE LOATHE AND DESPISE the 1st trimester.  I've got high hopes for the 2nd trimester and am fervently praying that it's better than the 1st.

I found a great template of questions to answer each week from My Food and Fitness Diaries.  I found Ashley's website through ANOTHER blog I've been reading (Clean Eating Chelsey).  Love these great bloggers and their journey of pregnancy!

On with week 13:

How far along? 13 weeks- and just in case you missed the memo above, I'm considering myself in the 2nd trimester!

Baby’s size? About the size of a peach.

Total weight gain/loss: I've lost a total of 10 pounds.  *sigh*  Hopefully I'll get a normal appetite back soon.  The 1st trimester has been really hard.  I've been super nauseous (though I've only thrown up 3 times) and so it's been hard to eat anything.  I told Mr. the other day that I'm probably getting all my calories through Gatorade and Sprite.  Water gives me heartburn.

Maternity clothes? I bought a pair of maternity jeans and a maternity skirt from Old Navy and OH. MY. STARS.  I've been getting a little thicker around the waist and I think I'll wear elastic waist forever.  If I wear my regular jeans, I won't keep them buttoned the entire day.  TMI?

Stretch marks? Nope.

Sleep: I've slept like a rock this past week.  Typically I'll fall asleep around 11pm and while watching reruns of the Office or the Mr. watching McGyver (yay Netflix).

Best moment this week: Last Friday I felt absolutely AMAZING.  Like I had a desire to go shopping (which hasn't happened in 2 and a half months).  I ran errands, met Mr. for lunch, shopped for fun at Ulta (and found an awesome mascara for $3), and went and saw a movie with my sweet friend Meredith.

Miss Anything? Drinking water.  I can't tell you how much I dread drinking water.  I've started to get big cups of ice and eating that.  I make sure to drink 8 oz. a day, but that's usually all I can handle.  And it has to be absolutely ice cold.  Lukewarm anything aint going to cut it. 

Movement: Sometimes if I'm really really still I'll think I MIGHT feel something.  But then I realize I'm just making it up in my head.

Food cravings: Popsicles.  Anything icy and really cold.

Anything making you queasy or sick: Lukewarm water.  The dogs' food (I hold my breath when I feed them). Most sweets sound terrible.  Blech.

Gender: We will find out at the end of July (God willing!)

Labor Signs: Not a one (and I'm so grateful for that right now)

Symptoms: Extreme exhaustion and nausea.  A friend of mine and I were talking the other day about how NO ONE prepared us for the exhaustion of pregnancy.  There have been days when I literally can't get out of bed and have had to call in to work (and I can't tell you how thankful I am for the amazing and understanding co-workers I have).  There was a point at about 8 and 9 weeks that I was taking 2 one hour long naps a day.  And then going to bed at like 9pm.  

Nausea has been ridiculous.  Like I said above, I've only thrown up a few times, but I've been completely unable to eat.  To the point where Mr. and I have had arguments about me eating.  My doctor put me on Zofran to try and help the nausea so I wouldn't continue to lose weight.  

Belly Button in or out? In.

Wedding rings on or off? On.  Though Mr. has had swollen hands the past few days... curious.

Happy or Moody most of the time: It depends on the day and how nauseous I feel.  If I am nauseous, I'm VERY mopey.  To the point where Mr. has made it his personal mission to make me smile and I still won't.  I have noticed that I cry a lot more and at the DROP OF A HAT.  We're talking, I cried during BATTLESHIP.  Yeah.  Judge away.

Looking forward to: Feeling better! Especially since I'm leading a team on a mission trip to Honduras next week!

And I'm adding this question:

Please be praying for: Our trip to Honduras!  There are 14 of us traveling next Monday (the 10th) and we'll be getting back the following Monday (the 17th).  Thankfully there are plenty of medical type people going (including the Mr.) so I know that Nugget (a nickname my sister gave the baby) will be well taken care of.  I just hope that I'm feeling well enough to fully contribute.  And even if I don't, my prayer is that God will use me exactly how I need to be used- whether I feel good or not.  Please pray for safe travels and God's will be done in the town of Campamento.

And I might be back...

Well, I'm going to try again.  I've come to grips with the fact that I'm a bad blogger.  Maybe I'll get better...

Honestly I love the idea of blogging and journaling, but I've just never been good at it.  I've got at least 10 journals that I've started and then abandoned since I was in high school (and going back to the ones in high school are embarrassingly hilarious).  And I've been better at blogging in the past (laurengrags.blogspot.com and laurengrags.livejournal.com for some interesting reads... don't make fun!)

So I'm back for another try at it.

I would really REALLY love to document how all the pregnancy nuances with Baby Carnathan for my family and friends who don't live close.  Hopefully I'll keep that up if nothing else.  I've found several templates to do weekly updates that should help me be a little more organized.

So here I go again!

It's Okay to Wait

Years ago, my dad had to work on Easter Sunday.  He was a manager at a Randalls grocery store in Katy, about an hour away from our house in Spring, Texas.

This was not an uncommon occurrence. My mom was pretty used to it.  She was even prepared for it.

We had recently moved into what has since been described as "the house on Encreek" which was a two-story house on about an acre of land in a neighborhood known as Bammel Forest.  Which is just what it sounds like.  A forest.

Lots of trees.  Lots of those trees were pine trees.  And our house was big, but it wasn't an acre... so there was a lot of empty space.  And since there were so many trees on our lot, there wasn't a whole lot of grass that was growing.

My mom woke up to a thunderstorm on this particular Easter Sunday.  She woke up my brother and I (both under the age of 5), got us dressed in our Easter finest- probably lots of white and pastels, and took us out to the car.

Did I mention that we didn't have a driveway?  Or a garage?

The little blue sedan was parked in the middle of our lot, on a hill of dirt, which was currently turning to sludge because of all the rain that was pouring down in tears of joy of the resurrection of Jesus.

The story goes, that my mom dragged two wet, muddy, sniffling children into church on Easter Sunday with her own heels caked in mud.  By herself. 

She was crying, we were crying, and we were late.  Everyone around us was (I'm sure) dressed to the nines and on time because THEY had garages and driveways and husbands who didn't have to work on Easter Sunday.

She sat down next to my sweet Nana (pronounced nAH-nAH), my great great (great?) aunt who asked her what was wrong. 

My mom told her about the morning, and the mud, and the mess.  And Nana's response was this:

"You have had a rough morning.  There is no mistaking that.  But you will appreciate that driveway and garage when you get it more than anyone who didn't have to WAIT for one."

A few months later, my parents put in a driveway and there was great rejoicing in the "house on Encreek." And my mom never forgot the wisdom of Nana.

Why are we all opposed to waiting?

I was at the gym yesterday and killing myself on the treadmill.  I was looking around me and thinking to myself how unfair it was that I was on this stupid thing (I get a little ornery when doing any kind of cardio) and that the girl in front of me was running uphill at 20 mph.

Well she didn't get there overnight, I can near guarantee you.  She had to wait.  She had to work while she waited.

I thought of my friend Crysty, who can basically bench press her husband.  She didn't do that in one day, she worked and worked and WORKED for months, three days every week and waited patiently for results.

I waited for years for the Mr.  And I am SO glad that I waited.  Not because of a self-righteous, look-at-me-I-have-a-better-husband-because-I-waited-for-him kind of way, but because I'm so glad it was HIM.

We live in a world where we rarely have to wait.  Information is at our fingertips.  Literally.  The teens I work with don't really understand the idea of having to wait for information.  It's a click away on their ipads, ipods, iphones, and computers.  And not that that is wrong either. 

But I think we have lost the spiritual discipline of waiting.  God does not work in the instantaneous always.  More often than not, He asks us to be still.  Usually, I ignore that and take matters into my own hands.  Yeah, ask me how that goes... I'll give you three guesses and the first three don't count.

Where in our life do we need to be still and wait?  I can name a dozen things in my own life right off the top of my head.

It's OKAY TO WAIT.  It's okay to wait in line at the grocery store, to wait on a reply to a text, for a date, for a call-back, a rejection.  It's okay to wait for a ring, or a confirmation, a grade on a paper or quiz, a response, an okay from a significant other.  It is okay to wait for results, for a cup of coffee, in traffic.

What is God saying to you while you wait? What wisdom are you gaining from the waiting?  How can you SERVE while you wait?

This is just for me as much as it is for you.
Lauren

Thoughts on Lent, Fat Tuesday, and Death Losing it's Sting

My mom and stepdad both grew up Catholic.

I have a slew of aunts, uncles and family members who are practicing/non practicing Catholics.  Which made for some pretty awkward family prayers when we would go over to my nana's house.  Imagine my brother, sister, and myself having NO idea how to cross ourselves or able to recite the meal prayers...

With that being said, I've always had exposure to the Catholic traditions.  It's been a way of life for a good portion of my family and in particular, my favorite cousins lives.  I've been to mass with family members off and on, I've experienced the practice of Lent, and observed all of the ancient practices and beautiful rituals that they participate in.

Over Christmas, I was absolutely enchanted by Advent and the Mr. and I decided we were going to participate in the lighting of the Advent candles as well as the readings from the Book of Common Prayer.  I can't tell you what a blessing it was.  The only way I can describe it is a refreshing delight.  It was like finding a long lost book in your home.  One that you'd read before and desperately wanted to read again, but couldn't find.  And you finally find it and as you open the pages... refreshing delight.

I have no idea if that made sense to anyone but me.

So yesterday was Fat Tuesday and today is the beginning of Lent.  Now, let me tell you, the only reason I knew ANY of this is because of Facebook.  And because at Kroger, in the middle of all the Valentine balloons and cupcakes, there was a slew of King Cakes and mardi-gras stuff.

I've practiced Lent once in college (to my memory).  The BFF and I gave up Dr. Pepper (back when I was a Dr. Pepper drinker).  It was kind of hard, but very do-able.

Like my delight with Advent, I am finding myself curious of Lent.  I'm not necessarily planning a fast (though I am giving up white breads and highly processed grains, that's not for the Lord, but for my temple), but I do want to plan a focus for the weeks leading up to Easter.

Right now, my rudimentary plan is to spend all of my personal time in the word studying the Gospels.  Studying Jesus like I've never studied Him before.  Working hard to focus my lens of reading scripture through His eyes.  As well as studying how Lent came to be.

Just as Advent was a refocus on Christ and His birth and what that meant for the entire human race, I hope these next 6 weeks will help me to refocus on the severity of our sin, and the absolute redemption we have because of the death.  Because of Him, Death has lost it's sting.  There is more joy in my heart than I can possibly imagine through that statement.  Ya'll, DEATH HAS LOST IT'S STING!!!

Because of Him, we will be with our Creator in Heaven.

And because of Him, I rejoice.

If you're interested in joining me on this journey, please comment below!

It's because of Him we will truly live!

Christmas Spirit

I was driving home last night from church (which if you know, is about half a minute) and I was looking at all the lights that adorned the houses in my neighborhood.

Some are simple- those are my favorite.

Some are a bit ostentatious- those make me smile because I always think of Christmas Vacation (my fav Christmas movie).

And some are just funny.  Like LOL funny.  One house in particular has one of those inflatable Santa figures on his sleigh... complete with inflatable reindeer- ON. TOP. OF. THEIR. HOUSE.  And during the day, it isn't inflated, so it's a very strange sight when driving past.

And as I was driving I was thinking about the movie Elf.  A big group of friends and the Mr. and I all got together on Friday to have dinner and watch Elf.  I super love that movie.  Seriously, could Will Ferrell have any more (appropriate) one liners in a movie!?

I was thinking about the line in the movie that is repeated several times, "the best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear."

What does that actually mean?  What is Christmas cheer?  Or how about Christmas spirit?

I would say that the majority of Christmas movies talk about Christmas spirit.  And that perplexed me because I wonder what it all actually means... what is our main focus this time of year?

Last night the Mr. and I started a new tradition of lighting our very own Advent wreath.  I read scripture and he lit our first candle (which signifies HOPE).  We ate dinner by the light of one of our flickering Advent candles and talked about the significance of the Advent wreath and what it means.

Is that Christmas spirit?

I would say from a secular point of view, Christmas spirit is the absence of consumerism and placing value on people this time of year through giving.  Which actually I would still say focuses on consumerism just with more of a philanthropy-like mindset.  Now hear me out, this is NOT a bad thing.  I think it is always good to honor others through giving.  But when taking into account the amount of STUFF we put an emphasis on... I think that we have to do away with such a high focus on PRESENTS and replace it with a focus on PEOPLE because of what Christ has done for us.

What if instead Christmas spirit was replaced with Christ and Spirit?  What would that look like?

How would our homes, churches, neighborhoods, cities be changed if we were focused on Christ and His sacrifice?  What if we focused on the Holy Spirit inside of us that (as Chris Seidman would say) is God's engagement ring- a promise that he's coming back for us?

What if we were sharing the hope that we have in Christ with others through our words, actions and lives?  How would it look any different than giving away toys/money to the less fortunate in the name of "Christmas spirit"?

How can I, Mrs. Carnathan, encourage self-worth in those that are around me?  Because let's be honest, sometimes it's just easier to give without engaging in the mess of life.  How can I be led by the Holy Spirit to proclaim the hope that we have that Christ is coming back!?  How can my actions of "eager expectation" speak to those who need it most?

I have absolutely no answers.  Just lots of questions.  And a desire to learn exactly how to prepare my heart and spirit for His second coming.  Lord, come quickly!

And at the end of all this, I challenge you (as I am challenging myself) to rid ourselves of Christmas spirit and focus only on Christ and the Spirit.